Tag Archive for: body image

Who Do You Think You Are?

One of the toughest aspects of my job is to make a client see her body as it is, accept it and then dress to flatter the body not the ideal of it. We are so used to zeroing in on our faults, imaginary or real (but even the real is exaggerated in our heads) that we cannot see ourselves clearly. And thus we spend years if not decades trying to look better without realizing that we do. I always ask about style idols and I do get Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie a lot. However, its important to realize that your body type dictates the style decisions. You may like Angelina Jolie but you might not look great in similar clothes. It may not be the best you. It’s human to want something different, the grass is always greener on the other side, but its time and energy waisted and ultimately, you’ll be disappointed and make some bad decisions clothes wise. I love J Lo, we’re the same heights but sadly these curves I do not have.

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Photo: E!Online

That led me to think: do we think, as we approach our midlife, that our best ass and hair are ahead of us if we really, I mean reaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy work at it or is it all downhill from here? I am of the former thought, delusionally maybe, but I am not sure if I ever will get there. And maybe that’s ok, the worst would be to let go and not care at all, right? But what if your idea of your best self is completely and utterly unattainable? See, one thing I wish I knew in my 20s, hell, in my 30s even (am 39 now, thank you very much) is that I did look good. My hair (well, there were some regrettable moments but moving on) did look amazing and so did my body. But I was forever trying to be more and thus never really stopped to smell the roses. Inherent insecurities of being a woman? Maybe. But as the dust settles on my last year as 30 something, I’ve come to accept myself more than I ever have. I am trying to look the best me I can be. But how do you tell someone that they ought to give up that Angelina Jolie dream because that ain’t gonna happen BUT that their reality, their bodies, their looks are beautiful. Not in a Loreal ad kind of way, not in mom will always love you as you are, but that there really really is something totally awesome about your looks? I have tried brutal honest, even cursing (when one of my clients who is so so so gorgeous I don’t like seeing her as I will always feel bad about myself tells me she doesnt like wearing short dresses because she doesn’t like her legs. Ugh.

Do me a favor if you are nodding along at all, look at photos of yourself even 5 years ago. Now do you not think that you looked good, much better than you thought? Are you not wistful for the body you never appreciated? I am!

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So, should we meet randomly, don’t be shocked or, worse, offended, if I tell you I like you arms, calves (just told that to a woman at Costco) or boobs. a) because i mean it and b) its totally objective, c) you should think that too because we all know I am rarely wrong about these things and D) we should complement each other, woman to woman, without any pretext. Because maybe then, just maybe, we let go of all of our preconceived notions of what we should do/be/look like to be beautiful and truly come to realize that hey, I don’t look half bad. Wink.

x

-haiku aka Mother Theresa of Fashion and Beauty

Did you know how good your body is?

I apologize for not posting for awhile, work has been busy with several new clients. There are times when I love my job, I do. I love watching women transform from nothing-fits-me, my-mom-always-said-I-look-bad-in-skirts, I-am-not-that-attractive, I-am-too-fat to kind of getting closer to the mirror, twirling a bit and suppressing a smile because they know they look good. I love getting the emails after an event telling me how  beautiful they looked and how many compliments they got. How their husbands couldn’t keep their hands off of them. How their kids were surprised to see mommy in something other than Lululemon. The confidence, the joy in being a woman, the fun – I love all that. That’s the reason I do what I do.

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Top: J Crew sweater (similar here), 7 For All Mankind skinny jeans (similar here), and New Balance for J Crew sneakers

Well, not these last 2 weeks. These weeks have sucked. Client nr 1 is very pretty with a firecracker personality. She is also petite and athletic with a muscular built. It was a nightmare to go shopping with her! I obviously know that petites are completely overlooked in fashion. The petites section at Nordstrom makes me want to cry. I was actually accosted by a 4 petite women asking me WHERE are they supposed to go to shop for decent clothes. UGH. SO many petite women and so many crappy options. We had such a hard time with client nr 1, I am still looking online that tops that work.

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Source

Client nr 2 (thank you, Momus, goddess of Irony) was 5’11, skinny with a pear shape. We found sweaters and dresses (Calvin Klein) but just failedfailedfailed at jackets and pants. There’s no tall women section. There’s plus size and actually had pretty cute options. But by God if you are short or tall, you are screwed. Many many hours of desperately looking for clothes, just clothes that fit!

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Source: stylecaster.com

I have never really thought, OMG, what an amazing body I have. Sure, there are times I think I look great, really great even. Not every day though. But having done this marathon shopping trips with clients 1&2, it dawned on me how easy my life is. Sure I need to tailor clothes here and there. But by and large I get to go to any store and buy clothes based on whether they look cute on me or not. And I never realized how unusual that is. Did you know how good your body is??? So I beg you, put aside all these preconceived notions of how fat/skinny/bad you look and just go wear whatever the heck makes you happy. Because before you know it, you’ll be 70 and you WILL look back at your current self and think DAMN I looked good, why didn’t I know it?

x

-h